Series of Ordinary Days

So. Recently I had a mini getaway (a staycation, if you will) with my husband. I shan’t lie through my teeth and proclaim that I came back from it refreshed, yadda yadda. If I were to be honest, I was not able to truly rest with a complete peace of mind during the 2 nights’ stay at the hotel. The Graduate Brain Monster that lives in my mind made me take out my laptop at least twice during the staycation to do some pseudo work just to appease my anxiety. It is kind of funny that even I have to admit that it is *pseudo* work. Maybe in a strange way, it is a calming action of some sort? I am not going to spend too much time pondering on its use, however.

I have to admit, however, that I do appreciate the chance to get away for a bit. First of all, I got to sleep in a king sized bed for 2 nights! Holy moly, that was great. I have slept in a queen sized bed ever since I moved out with my husband into our little rented space, and I know for a fact that we are keeping that queen sized mattress even when our own place is finally ready. I have grown accustomed to sleeping in such close proximity with my husband (cue all the kicking, blanket snatching), but it was a rather nice change to get to stretch out a little.

That said, I still like my queen sized bed that I sleep in nightly with my husband, thank you very much.

The view from the hotel room was pretty nice too. I think one thing that I too often take for granted in Singapore is the sunny weather. Sure, the sun is scorching most days and the weather is humid, but I suppose an overabundance of vitamin D is better than a lack of vitamin D, at least.

It rained a little in the evening, and you can see from the photo below that the roads had a bit of a waxy look to it. Strangely, I really liked that. That waxy look somehow made the roads look more alive in the night. Less lonely.

The morning that we checked out, we had breakfast at Yakun Kaya Toast before going back to the hotel to prepare.

The classic Singaporean breakfast. I grew up eating a variation of this—I had the soft boiled eggs but not the toast. My mum gave me steamed mantou buns instead. I still look back on that fondly, but toast would do for now. I ordered a butter sugar toast, and I really loved the thick slabs of butter.

I do not know if I am reading too much into this, but I have always felt that breakfast is such a luxury. I do not mean breakfast in the sense of cereal with milk, or bread that you buy the night before so that you would not start the day feeling empty inside. I mean the types of breakfast that actually take time to make. Like this toast set. Toasted bread. Soft boiled eggs. Arguably, they probably take 10 to 20 minutes to make. But let us be honest, how many of us have the time or the patience to do that for ourselves? Being in a position where you either feel able to spend the time making yourself a properly warm breakfast or have someone who would make it for you, that is a luxury.

I feel that same way about congee for breakfast as well. Whenever I stay in a hotel and the buffet breakfast serves congee, I would always try to have a bowl even as I stuff myself full of the other breakfast items. People do not tend to think of this, but congee takes time to prepare, especially if you do not own a rice cooker or a slow cooker. I once heard somewhere that the currency of value these days is not money, it is time. I absolutely cannot agree more. Imagine having to stand guard over a pot of rice grains slowly boiling in broth while stirring it continuously over an hour to ensure it doesn’t burn. Honestly, being able to eat a bowl of freshly made congee every morning is a luxury that I do not foresee myself having in the near future. Yes, it is a “simple” food item. But the time needed to produce this simple food item definitely propels it into luxury breakfast item on my personal list.

But then again, like I said, any breakfast that actually takes time, time that most of us do not have in the morning, to prepare is luxury. Of course, I am not thick. I know, logically, that I can get up 20 minutes earlier in the morning to make myself some toast and eggs that actually taste nice. But I am not willing to do that. Why would I? I am someone who is already revenge procrastinating way more than I should be doing every night, why would I spend that extra 20 minutes making breakfast for myself in the morning when I can spend that precious time in bed instead? Some might call it self-care, but in my current stage of life, self-care means sleeping that few extra minutes and treating myself to a proper massage every few weeks or so. Waking up that few extra minutes earlier to make myself a proper breakfast is a luxury that takes energy, and it is precious energy that I am simply too stingy to cough up. In short, I am living in energy conservation mode where I am directing all my energy towards surviving graduate studies. Obviously I welcome attempts to feel like I am growing a life outside of my studies, but it has to be attempts that does not siphon energy away from what is currently my priority.

I sound like I am simply making excuses for being lazy to make myself a proper breakfast in the morning, but I do put in the effort to mealprep my lunches and/or dinner. Why lunch and dinner, but not breakfast? It is simply the fact that I deem breakfast to be a matter in which anything more than a half hearted attempt to fill my stomach would sap away energy that I require to survive the day, but for lunch and dinner, having to put up with subpar food from the university cafeteria or the other food places nearby makes life feel all the more blue. Really, it is simple. I simply choose to prioritise whatever that requires prioritising in my book, and in the context of meals, having home cooked food for lunch and dinner is a necessity while that is a luxury when it comes to breakfast. It is important to me that I actually have food that I do not actually despise to look forward to throughout the day.

It might not look like much, but at least it is food that I actually feel alright eating. I do not know what it is about economy rice, but I cannot stand the vegetable dishes that they cook in most economy rice stalls. The meat dishes are often tolerable at least, but the vegetable dishes…well I have nothing positive to say about them. The funny thing is that they do not actually taste bad, I just cannot stand them. Buying, cutting, washing, and then stir-frying my own vegetables tend to take time that I could spend on doing important work, I admit. But when the alternative is something intolerable to you, well, you make it work. I am not disparaging economy rice, on the contrary, I used to like them very much. Perhaps it is because I feel so little in control of my own future that my tastebuds have grown picky in an attempt to seek some comfort and sense of agency. Actually, that sounds very plausible to me. After all, I suppose a person who is very much content with their present situation in life would not find the food they once found to be a perfectly normal (pleasant, even) part of their diet to suddenly taste abhorrent.

There, I suppose one day when (not if, when!) I find food to feel less exacting, I will suddenly remember this bit of musing and realise that life has improved. Hopefully, then. I shall keep my fingers crossed.

Bealie