Series of Ordinary Days

I suppose it is bold of me to be typing this while I am in office, but it is 6.48pm now and I am nowhere done for the day. Probably another few hours’ of work left, but ehh that is life. 

I am currently waiting for my gel to set so that I can run electrophoresis, during which I guess I can eat dinner. There’s still other stuff to be done, but at least today would be considered a productive day. I am tired, but then again, everyone my age is tired these days. Either you are a sad corporate person hammering away at your laptop, responding to clients that have no sense of boundaries till the wee hours, or you are a sad graduate student trying to produce more data at the expense of your entire personal life and sanity…well, everyone is suffering these days. 

6.54p.m—

I just went to take a gander at my gel (it’s pink, what the heck? Maybe I added too much dye, whatever.) and see if it has set, and I saw that someone else is running their gel. Since we only have one power supply thingy that runs the gel, I guess I am not in a rush, then. 14 more minutes to their gel the last I checked. 

—Anyway.

I am not sure what I thought life would be at this age, in my twenties. But I sure envisioned something happier/more glamorous/more fulfilling when I was, say, 16? But then again, it seems that life is just a continuous repetition of falling short of expectations. You think life would begin once you start working and earning adult money, then you start working and you are just forever waiting for the weekend. You think life would begin once you get into a relationship, then you are waiting to get married and for your Build-To-Order flat to be done. Maybe you think life would begin once you have a baby. Heck, the chances are high that once that happens, you would just be waiting for life to begin once they are grown and out of your hair. Maybe the key to stop falling short of expectations is to realise that there isn’t a “later”, only a “now.” Maybe life is not meant to be enjoyed or received when you get through the next hurdle, and you finally reach that peaceful stretch during which nothing can distract you anymore. Maybe life is meant to be stolen every moment you can, every little pocket of time you hide away from your adulting process, hastily stuffed into your mouth, savouring even while you gobble and swallow away to keep it from being taken away. Huh. I sure sound mighty poetic now, don’t I? There is something the opposite of hypocritical about the way I am writing this down now even while I am taking a short break from my work. Guess I am walking the talk now.

2 days later—

Well. That PCR was a complete massive fail. Meh. I ended up staying till 12am and having to cab home. Well. 

Anyway, it’s yet again 6.42p.m. So back to what I was musing about, or at least, what I have been musing about the past few days. Maybe life really only begins when you realise that there is nothing to begin. You get through one problem only to be met with another problem, there is no happily ever after waiting for you after the problem, just another problem. Perhaps “problem” is the wrong word here. “Obstacle” might be a better word. Anyway. 

It is kind of fitting that I chose to call this blog/diary/whatever “Series of Ordinary Days,” then. I am by no means a really talented or vibrant person, the word “ordinary” fits me and my life, I suppose. I guess 2026 is the year that I am done always waiting for life to happen, and to just…live in between the pockets of time available to me, I guess? 

I remember reading a story where the narrator of the story talked about a movie of guy who found remote control that allowed him to skip periods of his life that is bad. Did a quick search and turns out the narrator was narrating the movie, Click (2006). An Adam Sandler movie. Now that I think about it, aren’t most of us (or just me? I don’t know) living like that? Just trying to numb ourselves to whatever is going on and hoping that we can get through it to just “start living.” I do not have a remote control like that, but I sure feel like the way I behave when times are bad is similar. I guess 2026 is the year I start trying to really live then. Savour the good, and at least live through the bad. Just so happens that this year is the year another big thing is happening. I can foresee how busy everything would be, but I think I want to at least try and live. 

Bealie